always look
cold here. Even
though you're really
sweaty here. And
your rib cage
disappears
between the swelling part here.
The part that grows so slow at first
it makes people question and measure.
They find pleasure in patting here as you
start fatting here. No shirt is long enough to
fit over and still sit tastefully below here. Then
one day you realize your feet have disappeared.
Food doesn't sit where it's supposed to anymore
and you can't sleep without heartburn anymore.
It might be cute if this was the only bump, but
it turns out you're one big lump. Largeness
continues down through your rump.
Less and less desirable to hump.
Thighs start to rub
together, because
it's been forever
since you ran.
Oh, why?
Oh, why?
Oh, why?
Oh,why?
Oh, why?
Why, God, didn't
you make me a man?
(If any woman ever tells you she's enjoying her pregnancy, please consider the fact that she's lying through her teeth. Or she's mentally unstable. Both are reasonable possibilities, given her condition. I am happy to say I've been officially preggo-free for nearly 3 months now. My husband is thrilled to have me back.)
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