Release your inhibitions? Easier said (or sung) than done!

   I am inconsistent and self-conscious, qualities which are not conducive to blogging.  I began this project with the intent to amuse myself, unaware of the culture I was plugging into.  Once you start poking around, you realize the blogging world is a time-sucking, mind-boggling, idea-swarming place from which you are unlikely to return the same person.  My changes involved a new appreciation for the sheer quantity of people in this world, a desire to sew and repurpose clothing (essentially throw away less and create more), a reminder that even my most original ideas have already been thought of by someone else, and a hopeless intimidation of all the "successful" blogs out there with thousands of followers and lists of comments following each post.  I lost sight of what I wanted to get out of my own blogging experience, thinking if I couldn't raise additional income for my family and become marginally well-known, then I was wasting my time.  Potential employers seeking writers might look at my unvisited site and think I'm not the person for the job.  Silly, right?  Yeah, I know.  I'm trying to get past that.  I'm trying to grow up and forget my childish, naive notion that I must always be the best.  To shake off the paralysis of inhibition.

   My writing is usually serious and personal, because at this time in my life I really don't care to write generalizations that masses can relate to.  Throughout the day I often think of random things to say without anyone to say them to, and I've missed communicating them here.  And Tyler, sitting at his desk through the long work hours, loves to browse my blog for pictures and videos of his son.  I think I can count my blog a "success" if only to provide my wonderful husband with glimpses of home.  (Hi Tyler!)  So, what I'm trying to say is, trepidation aside, I am back.

  A few things that have happened since I wrote last:

• I have new glasses!  I like plastic frames better.  Not only are they stylish, but I find them more comfortable than metal. 

• Lincoln's vocabulary understanding is growing so quickly!  (He doesn't say these words, but he knows what I mean and reacts appropriately when I say stuff like:  "Want to go bye-bye?"  "Are you hungry?"  "Lets go read books!"  "Get your shoes!"  "Where's the laundry?"  "Ready for a bath?"  ... and so on.)  It's so amazing to see that glimmer in his eye, that knowing look, that says I've actually communicated verbally with my baby boy.  

• I received my diploma in the mail!  Yay for bachelors degrees. 

•  Our parents teamed up to purchase us a brand-new, flat screen TV and delivered it to us on Christmas morning.  Best surprise ever! Seriously, we have incredibly generous and loving parents!

• Beloved Roomba is gone and I now vacuum with a Dyson, another family gift. Our carpets are much cleaner, but Lincoln is still searching for his friend.  He was quite obsessed with the little robot.  If I didn't separate them, Linc would pounce on Roomba and press buttons over and over until the poor thing just gave up and sat trembling in a corner.  Ha!  So most of the time I used the high chair to force some distance.  

• We also just joined a gym.  After a lot of research, I found one nearby with the best daycare.  It will take adjustments for both Lincoln and me, but I hope that eventually we will become comfortable with an hour's separation each day.  I hope that he will have fun playing and won't feel abandoned.  And I'm so excited to get some me-time:  healthy, endorphin-junkie, me-time.  This afternoon I'm going to learn about the machines and how to get the most out of my workouts.  Not looking forward to the body fat percentage and other tests, but that's ok.  It's good to know my starting point.