Weight

We went to the pediatrician's office recently.  Here is how much everyone weighs:

Ezra: 20 lb 5.5 oz

Hazel: 19 lb 20 oz

Lincoln: 36 lb 

One night in Manhattan

Tyler suggested that we take a trip during his spring break.  At first I thought he was kidding.  It sounded like more work than fun.  But, neither of us have ever lived on the East Coast before; there's a lot of history to see within a relatively small area.  Why shouldn't we take advantage of a time when there isn't a lot tying us down?  You know, besides bottles and diapers.  It wouldn't have been possible if we didn't adjust things to their pace.  The four hour drive took at least two stops both ways.  Either for me and my tiny bladder, or the babies and their tiny tummies.  And while we were in the city, every half hour or so we turned into an alcove, found a bench, or even pulled into a store or restaurant for feedings, diaper changes, wardrobe changes, etc.  We were constantly juggling the three between our trusty BOB double stroller, the Baby Bjorn for the twins, and Lincoln walking with the monkey backpack (which has a leash).  You can still see a lot with this erratic traveling schedule.  Keep the kids happy, and everything else is somewhat smooth.  Giddy with my taste of the Big Apple, I told Tyler we should star in a reality show on a traveling channel, sponsored by Starbucks, Honda and BOB.

We could portray all the awesome craziness of traveling with young kids.  Plus, you've also got the angle of testing the strength of a relationship, which audiences love.  This time, Tyler and I met the challenge with flying colors.  I think I fell in love with my man all over again in Manhattan, three kiddos in tow!

Part of our success was that we had beautiful weather, and we only stayed one night.  Any longer and our adrenaline might have worn off, and the kids would have gotten restless for home.  As it is, this is our gear for only 31 hours in the city:

Yep.

Our first adventure was the Natural History Museum, mainly for the dinosaurs.  This is where the movie with Ben Stiller, Night at the Museum, was filmed.  

It was recommended to us as a good place for kids.  It was... ok.  Our crew is still a little young, and we do better outside in wide open spaces, so after we rolled past the highlights (dinosaurs, lions and elephants, giant turtles, etc), we rushed back out into the sunshine for a stroll in Central Park.  

The building in the background is the MET.  Just one look at it, even from the outside, and I realized our friend Traci was totally right to recommend it.  This might have been the better museum choice.  Next time, for sure.

Just look at the magnolia blossoms!  New York City might be a concrete jungle, but not without a healthy sprinkle of nature.

Cleopatra's Needle, an obelisk from Egypt, stands amongst the magnolias.  La la la, look at me, I'm from 1500 BC!

Other historical highlights:

Federall Hall, where George Washington took the oath of office.  

We visited Alexander Hamilton's grave in Trinity Churchyard.

 Lincoln is standing beneath a sculpture of a sycamore tree that was uprooted on 9/11.

We were also able to preview the 9/11 Memorial.  You have to walk five blocks away from the actual site in order to procure free passes, and then once you return to Ground Zero, you walk through several hallways and aisles of security,  similar to an airport.  The footprints of the twin towers are now reflecting pools fed by the largest manmade waterfalls in North America.  

The new Freedom Towers are currently under construction.  Although scarred by destruction and chaos, this tribute somehow felt like the calmest part of the city.  The sound of water falling helps to drown out people and traffic.

But, of course, people and traffic are part of the charm of New York City.  It's loud and busy and delightful.  I loved visiting Wall Street, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, NBC studios, 5th Avenue, the Empire State Building and a pier by the Brooklyn Bridge.

Times Square is obnoxious and fascinating.  We held up the natives by standing still on the sidewalk, gazing upward, mouths agape.

Ezra, Hazel, and Charles, front and center.  Cozy in the BOB!  He's a portable living room, diaper changing station, high chair, crib... peace of mind... etc.

BOB did not, however, fit in the hotel elevator or the door to our room.  Here we are squished into the service elevator.  And we just unloaded and collapsed the whole thing when we came in for the night.

St. Patrick's Cathedral.  

I thought the newspaper dress on the left was great.

We happened upon a MINI dealership, and took this photo for my dad.  I don't know how they got the cars into this tiny building, or how buyers are to drive them out!

Disney characters charmed you into a photo and then held out their purses for an obligatory fee.  Annoying but irresistible.

There are more photos on Tyler's phone, but this is a good collection.  They won't remember this trip, but at least we have the story and the pictures.  We're already thinking about where to sojourn next.

The Balancing Act, an unedited ramble

There is a playground close to Lincoln's preschool that we have visited a couple times.  It's meant for 5-12 year olds, so I have to keep a close eye on him.  More than that, I have to run after him with hands outstretched.  The first thing he did there was fall backward off a platform.  The kid can fall really well, though.  That's one thing that he's always impressed us with.  This place is full of climbing structures.  I am eager to take Tyler there, so I can actually play, too!  I climbed to the top of the playground's center boulder, and when I turned to go back down, I realized I couldn't see the footholds because of an underhang.  I had that old rush, that old excitement.  I do miss climbing.  Another section is designed for traversing, and I got to hop on it for a few seconds at a time in between sliding and swinging.

Thank God this has been a gentle winter, because playing outside is essential to my happiness, and I don't mean to sound egotistical, but the truth is my happiness is essential to this family's survival!  Last weekend I was having a rough time.  Not for any particularly awful reason.  Really, it's all about perspective.  Earlier this evening, Tyler told me the saying, "An optimist says the glass is half full, the pessimist says it's half empty, but the engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."   Sometimes I think how awesome my life is-- three sweet, beautiful children, a happy home, healthy family, a husband who listens to me, talks with me, and who is creating a future for us.  Sometimes I think how trapped I am-- changing diapers, feeding, arranging naps, from morning to night, with no energy left at the end of the day to do anything for my own benefit.  No exercising, writing, working-- the stuff that rounds out the now and builds a foundation for later.  What am I going to do when these kids start school?  I will have a degree that's years old and no experience using it.  Not even a collection of personally published writing samples.  And then I get alternately angry and dejected.  Which means I do all of those tasks resentfully, creating an ugly vibe, making the sensitive kids cranky, me guilty, and so on.  One big spiraling shit hole.  Sometimes it makes more sense to be the engineer.  Just figure out what works with what you've got.  Balance.  Balance is all I ask for, so I can smile and have a good day.

I find balance by:

~ Getting OUT.  It's amazing how lost in the ecosystem of laundry, dishes, and clutter I can become without at least a breath of fresh air.  Hey, there's a world outside that exists whether you clean or not!  Lincoln's mood has always visibly heightened when we're outdoors.  I'm not sure about the twins yet, but I'm hoping my whole crew is this way, so I'll always have a secret weapon against the grumps.

~ Sit.  On the floor with Linc, pushing trains, building towers.  On the couch with a baby on my lap.  Give that time, again, free from the rushing, frantic clutter-clucking.  I forget what this is all for if I don't look my children in the eyes, kiss their cheeks.  It's so easy to make them smile.

~ Shower.  It's a fight to get this done.  I wonder about this one.   Childbirth and subsequent breastfeeding are the most basic, down-to-earth womanly things that only a woman can do.  Yet, I look in the mirror and think, "I just want to feel like a woman again!" (ie, with makeup done and hair styled!)  Perception!

~ Think for the long haul.  I have to tell you, I was devastated about my post-twin-tummy.  It's a wrinkled, squishy mess.  But it's only 8 months postpartum now, and I'm almost totally ok with it.  I have realized that this is just a preview of aging.  Eventually I'll be an entire wrinkled, squishy mess,  so why not learn to live with it now?  Gracefully, with a wry sense of humor and a great story to tell.  Tyler's grandmother passed away shortly after we visited her one last time.  Life is short, and yet so long.  I keep wishing I had talked to her more, asking questions that maybe pressed boundaries.  What does someone think about when they know they're at the end?  What would they have changed, not about the events in their life, but about their thought processes?  My friend Ami shared an article written by someone who talked with people like this everyday.  It's hard to imagine dying in my old age when I'm only 26.  But when it happens, I don't want to look back and realize I wasted any part of my time, energy, money or love bemoaning this belly of mine.  That's why I lift up my shirt a lot.  Chances are, if you care enough about me to read this, I've probably shown you my belly.  Please understand it's mostly self-therapy.  The more accustomed and comfortable I get with it, the easier it is to move on.  This is me now.  Odd, but no big deal.  :-)

There are other things I meant to say about balance.  Other things I do.  But now I'm tired.  And a little distracted by the transformation depicted above.  Like I said, I'm almost totally ok with it.  I'm going to go drink some water, get ready for bed, read with my husband, sleep.  

Upon the return

Tyler, the kids and I flew back to Utah for the holidays.  Stayed there for a solid 3 weeks!  Unfortunately, we brought some kind of bug with us, so the first half of our stay the five of us were sick, and everyone else was sick the second half.  So... fun!  But amidst all the snot and fevers, we did get a lot of visiting in.  This was our first trip "back home."  I've traveled more than Tyler, but neither of us has ever lived more than an hour's drive away from our parents.  If I didn't have the emotional and physical well being of my kids to tend to, I would probably dwell too much on that solemn, lonesome fact.  But there isn't much time to think about how much I miss my mom when Lincoln is the one breaking down over not being able to "go see Grandma Ann!" or "eat blueberries at Grandma Lori's house!"

Because both Tyler's family and mine live so close, we did our best to balance out the visiting.  It just got to be far too overwhelming and stressful.  I am not a social planner, let me tell you.  Luckily we ended up being able to all hang out together in one big, beautiful home, and that was precious.  I'm grateful to everyone for accommodating our brood.  I didn't do any dishes or laundry while I was there, and Tyler and I even went out to see a movie.  The babies were doted on, Lincoln played til he dropped every night, I took several relaxing baths, and Tyler got as much video game time in as he could (which wasn't much, I think, on the gamer scale, but considering I am not very supportive of the hobby, it was more than he'll get at home... ever.)

Visuals:

From what I can tell, grandkids are a blast!  

My parents and Lincoln, celebrating his 3rd birthday!

It's always the wrapping materials that steal the show.  

Evan, my little brother, taking it easy.

My mom, delivering a gingerbread message to start his big day.

Poor girl.  Finally fell asleep at 4 a.m. after a very, very long night.  I was grateful for this moment.  And for my best friend Liz, who spent the night in the living room with me and my fussy twins.  I'll never forget that calm, quiet voice, "How can I help?"

Linc amidst the Lawrence Christmas.

Linc amidst the Metcalf Christmas.  This was the first year he woke up to see what Santa had brought.  Grandma Betty, in the background, will be missed.  We are glad we could see her one last time.

One of Lincoln's cousins, who was so very happy to finally receive her baby doll!

Hazel and her gorgeous Grandma Lori.  Thank you for letting us stay with you.  I know we were a lot of work, but you never let on!  

Tyler's older sister and the snowman birthday cake.  Decorated by the birthday boy himself!

Hazel, receiving the magic touch from a true Baby Whisperer.  

Lincoln's expression here pretty much sums up how feels about Uncle Nick.

Playing at Cafe Rio.




Gingerbread House Making.  Liz has been a part of our family tradition for 9 years now!  She always goes above and beyond.  Naturally.

And Tyler made a double decker-- something I've wanted to try before.  Success!

I'm so glad my Grandma (known to the kids as Grandma Polly) could come see us from California.  She is so happy and sweet, all the time.

Being awesome.

My mom... I don't know how, but she remembers how to care for a baby like I was one yesterday.  It's amazing and so helpful!

Meeting Shaila's Grandma Lee, who made these blankets and hats for my kids.  The blankets each have their names on them.  So wonderful!  (Shaila is my brother's girlfriend.)

When it came time to leave, 4 cars and 8 extra people escorted us to the airport.  It takes a village, and this is ours!  Thank you everyone!

Mangia!

I feel like the focus for the new year, so far, has been food.  I thought tandem breastfeeding was time-consuming, but now my entire day is literally consumed with what everyone is to eat!  Ezra is on formula and jars of baby food.  Hazel cannot stomach milk-based formula, we discovered, so she's still breast feeding.  And when I try to give her a spoonful of solids (which I do daily, just to get her used to the idea) this is what we get:



I want to prepare a better variety of fresh produce for the family.  It has occurred to me that Lincoln might recognize a box of frozen pizza as more familiar fare than, say, an eggplant or a head of lettuce.  So we've been discussing vegetables and fruit, and throwing them in the blender.  "What color are we going to make?" he asks me.  Tonight at dinner we had a blast eating each other's "snowman noses."  Two summers ago, I remember crying in exhausted relief when Lincoln voluntarily took a bite of a carrot.  Progress.