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What I learned in college

Dear Lincoln,

I'll be graduating soon.  Quite soon... in a few weeks, actually!  It's still hard for me to believe, after being in school for so long.  But I've been thinking that it's as good a time as any to write about what I've learned during these 5 years at the University of Utah.  For the next little while, I'll be compiling a list and posting things individually as they come, in no particular order.  These will be both academic (to an extent-- there's no way I can, or really want to, regurgitate all the curriculum I've consumed) as well as larger life lessons.  I'm only 23, but I think most people will agree that college is an experience worth highlighting no matter what other accomplishments they go on to make.  And most of the realizations and lessons I've gone through during my university career have the potential to affect the rest of my life.  So, I'd like to share some with you. 

For now, the basics.  My degree:  started out as English, BA.  Ended up Mass Communication, BA, with a Business minor.

More to come. 

The 2 Parent Dynamic

Dear Lincoln,

I totally understand why God made Adam and Eve.  Marriage, I'll admit, may seem unnatural and contrary to human nature at times.  A successful one takes consistent, hard work-- but that's true of almost everything in life worth having.  When you add a child into the mix, even two grown adults aren't always enough to meet the challenges, much less one.

I'm not passing judgment or pitying those 9 percent of households in the U.S. headed by a single parent, but boy, oh boy, can I imagine the diligence it requires to keep them afloat.  From the day you were born, I gained a new respect for parents who raise children on their own.  Every single maneuver, from bundling you up to meet the cold December air, to making sure your car seat, swing and crib were safely and securely installed, was a team effort.  (All this not to mention the emotional magnitude of taking home a new person that will forever after be your responsibility.  It's nice having someone else in the same boat during a realization like that!)

Especially as you grow from a baby into a toddler, I have been able to take small breaks here and there to recharge.  I used to be chronically concerned that you would need to breastfeed at a moment's notice, and if I wasn't right there to snap open my nursing bra, all hell would break loose.  I seriously had nightmares over it.  But nowadays you are fully and happily satiated by plenty of other foods, and you LOVE spending time with your father.  On weeknights, you go to sleep less than an hour after he gets home from work, but on Saturdays and Sundays, the two of you usually take some time to have your own adventures so mommy can study, shop, write, run, etc.



It's a blessing that I can completely trust your well-being to another person who I know loves you, cares for you, and is as much invested in you as I am.  When two individuals fully embrace their roles as parent and spouse, loving and respecting one another, family operates the way it was meant to.

I am so thankful we are three. 

Imogen Heap

Dear Lincoln,

I get it now.  That far-off, dreamy look in people's eyes as they reminisce over the best concert of their lives.  Until they remember that other one, or maybe that one a couple years ago.  Oh man, that was awesome.

Your uncle Evan and your dad were talking about concerts this past summer, and I just couldn't relate.  But now, finally, I understand.  If you know the artist, love the lyrics, have lived to the music, sang it at the top of your lungs in the shower, cried softly as it trickles through headphones in the middle of the night... well, then, a concert is a place of unusual beauty.  For the moment, a whole crowd is swaying in unison, body and soul. 

Literally.  The entire Venue sang "just for now" in rounds: she broke us up into three parts.  I'll never forget it. 

Here's us, before it all began.  Your father wasn't very happy about the LONG line, but I reminded him how awesome it was to be out, on a weekday night, just the two of us.  I love you dearly with all my heart, little one, but I have to admit I can get pretty stir crazy.  This was a rare opportunity to breathe fresh air on a downtown street corner, with nothing but an ID in my pocket and a handsome man on my arm.

P.S.  Did you notice the white tree on stage?  It was THE most perfect prop I've ever seen!  When Imogen Heap sang "Little Bird" a fantastic light show made it look as if birds were flying everywhere, swooping in the air and perching on the branches of the tree.  Took my breath away.

The day you walked down the hallway

The world will never be the same for you again, little Linc!  (To viewers: Turn down volume.  It's just me being an excited, proud mom!)

12 days old

Dear Lincoln,
I was very impressed that you were born with sideburns.  They were perfectly trimmed, too, as if you'd been to the barber for your birthday.

Wherein I discuss poop.

Dear Lincoln,

When I was in high school, I did an internship with the nutritionists at McKay Dee Hospital. At that time I was interested in becoming a Registered Dietitian (RD) and wanted to see what their work actually entailed. It turned out to be kind of a survey course where I spent a day with each nutritionist in the facility. There were the outpatient RD’s who offered nutrition advice and eating disorder counseling, the NICU nutritionists who monitored every single ounce of preemie intake, the ICU nurses who meticulously concocted fluids for individual patients according to their charted deficiencies, and several others. Initially I was surprised by how often the word “stool” was tossed back and forth. Very quickly I learned to participate in detailed discussions of patients’ waste: how much, what consistency, exact chemical makeup, etc. And it makes sense. What we expel is indicative not only of what we consume, but also what we’re not consuming enough of. My point is that nutritionists are always talking about poop.

So are moms. It didn’t occur to me then, but nurturing a young child is another job that involves lots of poop. We talk about it, measure it, compare its consistency to what you’ve been eating, clean it off your bum and scrub it out of clothing. Lovely stuff, really!

I thought of this because today you had what parents these days call a “blow-out.” I believe babies do this to cure their caretakers of all squeamish, germaphobe tendencies. It’s when your poop leaks out of your diaper, onto your clothes, my clothes, blankets, furniture, car seat, and whatever else is touching you. If I’m grossing you out while you read this, keep in mind you did it to me. (And everyone else did it to their parents, too!)

Usually a blowout is detected quickly. It stinks. But today either my nose was malfunctioning, or your poop decided to be really sneaky. We were sitting on the living room floor like usual, surrounded by all your toys. You were cranky. No matter how tall I built the block tower, how far I rolled the ball, how many voices I used to impersonate your stuffed animals, nothing worked. I couldn’t distract you from constant whining, so I moved onto the next possibility. Food. I plopped you down in your high chair and offered you Gerber apple vanilla granola, sweet potato puffs and juice. You eagerly accepted every bite, so I thought we were in the clear. I’d figured out the problem and we could move on with the day! Yay for supermom! Alas, the whining ensued the moment I picked you up.

Could he really be tired? I thought. Afternoon naps are not common in this household, but the number one rule of parenting is flexibility; babies are human too and things change. So we headed to the nursery. Along the way, I noticed greenish streaks across the sleeve of my sweatshirt. One sniff told me where those came from. Right then and there I should have changed your diaper. I was going to! Really, I was! I laid you down on the changing table while I stripped off the offending sweatshirt, bent down to smell your diaper and was surprised to smell absolutely nothing. I honestly believed you were completely clean and dry. I then made the unfortunate, lazy choice of leaving it at that, wondering as we sat down in the rocking chair why I hadn’t noticed that sleeve stain before, how many days old it was and how many people I’d unknowingly disgusted.

Six books and twenty minutes later, I turned off the lamp and maneuvered you across my lap to breastfeed. It was only then that, finally, your thick-headed mother became aware of the mess you’d been sitting in for who knows how long. Your sweatshirt was stinky too, and that just couldn’t be coincidence! Sure enough, some pretty horrid stuff was spread across your back. I’m sorry baby. Now that you’ve been bathed, dressed in clean clothes and apologetically cuddled, I hope you can forgive me for being a complete dunce. You’d think that after nearly a year of this I’d know a little bit more about poop. What would my RD friends back at McKay Dee say?

This doesn't even come close to the best disaster diaper story we have. But I think we'll save that for another day. For now, I'm pooped. ;-)

mama's mocha smoothie

Dear Lincoln,

Your father and I are smoothie fans.  Jamba Juice was a regular pit stop for us on the way to our dating adventures.  My regular was a Peanut Butter Moo'd in what I like to call "little girl size," or, what the menu calls a 16 oz.

This is probably one of the most calorie laden smoothies they make, adding up to nearly 500 calories a pop.  But once I had tasted its creamy sweetness, there was no going back.  Your dad typically chose healthier options like Strawberry Nirvana, but he'd order a 24 oz, which added to his caloric intake quite a bit.  We decided that the secret to a guilt-free smoothie is to make it a meal replacement.  Which is why Jamba for us has always meant lunch-on-the-go or a perfect summer dinner: light and refreshing.

But, sadly for Jamba Juice, we bought a blender a few months ago. And while we still visit our favorite restaurant every now and then, it has lost a lot of its charm.  Well, at least for me, because I have found the PERFECT recipe for my creamy-craving, smoothie-loving self.  This is my new favorite breakfast!

Mama's Mocha Smoothie:

2/3 cup soy or rice milk* (if you're sensitive to dairy, like me)

2 scoops of mocha mix 

4 to 5 ice cubes

1 to 2 bananas, cut into slices

1 huge spoonful of peanut butter (or almond butter, even better!)

Blend all ingredients thoroughly and enjoy!

*For an even creamier version, try frozen yogurt.  

 Because these have coffee in them, your dad doesn't like them.  He's not much for the taste or smell of coffee, which I find disappointing.  It means we don't ever wake to a gently percolating pot of divinity.   (But then again, it also means I get to venture out to local cafes every now and then!)

I haven't shared my caffeinated smoothie with you either, little one, because you're only 11 months old.  But don't worry, there are plenty of baby-friendly smoothies we can try.  So far, you've disliked every single one I have made.  When we find a keeper, I'll post it.

a new idea

I would like to try something different with my blog.  I have come to the point where I don't know what to say anymore, other than to catalog my son's milestones.  And while such a theme affords me a limitless supply of material, I would also like to tie in commentary on stuff that other people might have an interest in. 

So... I have an idea.  I am going to start writing letters to Lincoln.  I'll try telling him about his cute quirks, the things I hope to teach him throughout life, and all that he has taught me so far.  I know, I know-- this is sounding even more exclusive than where I was to begin with.  But, you'll see.  I will pull in material from current news stories and discuss the possible implications it may have for his generation.  I will write product reviews on the items which worked for us and those that flopped.  I will talk about the emotions of a new parent and how I dealt with them.  And in the process, I hope to create something enjoyable for you and me now, and for Lincoln someday in the future.  At the very least, he'll know something about his mama and the world she lived in during his early years.

Feel free to tell me if you like/dislike this idea.  And then feel free to tell me if you like how it actually turns out, once I've created some content.  Keep in mind that "Dear Lincoln" also means "Dear YOU!" 

We had a Halloween party!

And me too!

When my husband saw the pile of pictures I was choosing from to scan, (for my last post about Evan) he saw one of my baby pictures.  And he said Lincoln looks even more like me.

I'm glad to know that I didn't just pass on my scowl:

But Lincoln got my smile too!

Little Evan

My mother-in-law said yesterday that Lincoln looks a lot like my brother.  And it's true!  Here are some of Evan's baby/toddler pictures.  They even looked alike at this age.  Isn't my baby brother so cute?  This is what I grew up with!

Sew darling!

As you might guess from some of the blogs I follow, I've been into sewing lately.  My mom taught me to sew when I was a little girl; together we made blankets, quilts, a stuffed animal (I think it was a bunny?), clothes and other things.  I'm so glad she took the time to impart this useful skill.  I borrowed her sewing machine a few weeks ago, and I've still got it.  Thankfully she doesn't need it anytime soon, because I've been enjoying playing around and seeing what I can make from the scraps of material and old clothing we have.  We had a bag set aside to take to a thrift store, but at the last minute I realized that some of the shirts could be refashioned into new things.  It's a satisfying sense of accomplishment to be able to create a useful item, especially when it only takes a day to make!

Here's a scarf I put together from two shirts:

I LOVE the accessories which accompany colder weather.  Scarves in particular!  Every year as fall approaches I practically go crazy over all the wonderful colors and textures in the stores.  But it's just not practical right now for me to be buying anything superfluous.  I feel incredibly empowered by solving this problem without spending a penny.

The day has come....

when Lincoln will no longer stay put.  Set him down in the middle of the living room, and within 20 seconds there's no telling where he'll be.  This means it takes a little more work to keep him safe, but it also makes play time even more fun!  Watching him explore the house on his own is amazing.  I'll try to post a video soon!

Curls

I have naturally curly hair.  Sometimes I blow dry it straight to look a little different.  (Remember, I'm the girl that craves change!)  But I think I started doing that when I looked at pictures of me and didn't like what I saw.  Why is it so hard to photograph curls?  It took me a while to realize that, in real life, they look pretty!  (My mom's been telling me that all my life.)  I think they look best when I pull them back and make a pile ontop of my head, like so:

Sometimes it takes us a while to appreciate our blessings!

Goodbye Grandma Wilma

My father's mother passed away recently.  She was a kind woman with a great deal of pride and love for her children.  We are glad she can rest in peace, in a place free from pain and sickness.  'Til we meet again, Grandma Wilma. 

Happy to be here

I crave change.  I haven't determined whether this is a product of my military-brat upbringing or if it's simply my personality, (doesn't everything whittle down to the nature v. nurture debate?) but regardless of its origins, this twitch of mine often manifests itself in a desire to move.  I moved every year the first 4 years of my college career.

This past June marked the first time in my young adult life that I truly wanted to renew a lease.  In fact, I was adverse to the idea of living anywhere other than here: in our lovely three bedroom, two bath apartment.  Reasons for my uncharacteristic approval of status quo extend beyond the fact that this place is drop-dead gorgeous.  (I mean, yes, I could keep it cleaner and decorate it better, but I'm very proud of the fact that we live in a place that took my breath away when we viewed it for the first time).  But, in all honesty, even an apartment like this could get boring. I think the real culprit here is my child.  Lincoln, let me tell you, is changing.  He is changing so quickly and so sneakily that it's all we can do to keep up.  It turns out that parenthood has provided a cure to my anxious, will'o'the wisp nature.  Oh, how we've racked up the milestones!  It probably seems dull and obvious to people without children, but once you've deposited a tiny, raw human being onto this planet-- every little metamorphosis it makes seems like a miraculous, earth-shattering event that begs for detailed documentation and cooed-over celebration.

"Did he just raise his left eyebrow?  Because I swear he used to only be able to lift the right!  And have you noticed how he reaches for a toy when you hand it to him?  WAIT- stop everything!  My baby sucked his toe!"

With this kind of excitement going on, no wonder I'm too busy to browse the rental listings.  Since my last post, Lincoln has gone nuts over walking (with help), surfaced two teeth, clapped (as of today) and somehow instantly knew that he was supposed to lift the flaps in his new "Where is Baby's Belly Button?" book. I still take videos of my handsome little star.  And I'm going to share!  Luckily, the few people who do read my blog (mostly) have an interest in my son and so hopefully these videos will be amusing.  I know it's really cool for the great grandparents living in California to catch a glimpse of Lincoln's life.  Hopefully someday he'll be able to meet them!

I think it's cute how he just takes a bite out of a baby cheese puff as if he's been doing it all his life.  The eating-is-serious-business-and-I-love-it noises, he has been doing all his life.  I try unsuccessfully to show his teeth, but at least you see him using them! 





And here Lincoln is pulling himself up onto furniture.  I think it's safe to say that he'll be walking soon!  See what I mean?  Life is happening so FAST!

Birthdays

It just occurred to me that all of Lincoln's grandparents have birthdays in August and September.  The g-mas in August, and the g-pas the next month.  But I only got around to writing a Happy Bday post to my dad!  My apologies to the rest of you.  Happy Belated Bday on my blog!

Tyler turned a quarter of a century last weekend.  He's feeling pretty old.  (I think any age beginning with twenty is fantastically young.  Although when I turn the dreaded 29, I don't think I'll be so sure.)

Anyway, I made the papa and his boy matching t-shirts as a birthday present.  At this summer's family reunion, we learned a great trick to bleaching designs into t-shirts, and I've been wanting to customize some for my boys.  This was the perfect opportunity!

Tyler's says "Linc'd" and Linc's says... well, "Linc." 

More Laughter

Babies are amused by adults making fools of themselves. ;-)

The other day my mother suggested that Lincoln may be the most photographed baby in the world. He actually does smile for the camera, as soon as he sees it. We've conditioned him! And there's no sneaking up on this one. Linc can spot the lens a mile away! Except, of course, when he's too busy laughing.

Moving Day!

Lincoln and I helped move Liz's things from her apartment on South Temple, to a new 2 bedroom place closer to campus. We loaded her things into my little Honda Civic, and her boyfriend Jon's car, a compact as well. It was rather comical, especially with a baby. Not the most ideal moving scenario, but we made it work. They still have a lot to do; Jon's stuff will be a much greater battle, because of all his furniture. But at least the process has begun. I hope they have many happy times together in this place! Here are some pics of us taking a break.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Rick!

(Yesterday.)

Lincoln helping Grandpa open his gift. What is it?

An "R" wine stopper! Or... in Lincoln's world, a new teething toy.

My pops and me!

Addendum?... update?... or something.

It's late. I'm dreading going to bed, though, because it's just awful lying there wanting to sleep and not being able to. So I've been reading my older blog posts. And I just have to say something.

I am immensely grateful that colic is over. A lot of my whining was due to the inevitable 3 to 4 hours of screaming that my husband and I faced every single evening. This is not Lincoln's fault, of course. The poor little darling didn't CHOOSE to have colic. Believe me, no one would! But it was a challenge for our *very* newly formed family. Add to that my inability to sleep (sometimes due to insomnia, sometimes to mothering a baby), and you have an overwhelmed woman.

But my boys and I are doing quite well these days. My husband amazes me each day with his growing patience, kindness and maturity. Our baby is happy, healthy and so adorably sweet. And I thank God for both of them.

Lazy Sunday

We really have the knack for slow, relaxing Sundays. They happen quite often. Because I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night (more than usual) Tyler played and laughed with Lincoln while I slept in.

Then we munched on fresh strawberries. Lincoln made most of this mess with his mesh net (a really cool invention that allows babies to safely enjoy foods that pose potential choking hazards) but for the pictures I just handed him a whole strawberry.

And then, Tyler hung out with his boy some more while I studied. This semester is going to be very enjoyable, as long as I am diligent with my MANY readings. ;-) The two of them went for a walk. But about 20 minutes into it, I received a call from Tyler, saying there were free plants outside a house a few blocks away. I've been wanting more greenery in our apartment, so I drove over and hauled away these babies!

I think a cat got a hold of this one. A few of the leaves had hair on it, and the trunk is scratched. I'm not exactly sure what kind it is... The leaves are succulent like our little jade plant, but they are also smaller. I know for a fact that I have a few "ghost followers," so if any of you have an idea of what this is and how to take care of it, I would love some tips!

This one is obviously a pot of cacti. A cute adornment for the windowsill!

Now I am going to delve into my books once again, while Tyler bakes some cookies. (Yes, we have been trying to eat healthier... but I have the most vociferous sweet tooth you can imagine, and Tyler offered so... I couldn't refuse.)

He sounds like heaven.

Only God could have created something as perfect as a baby's laugh.

Blah-blah is Evil

There is a man I dislike. Quite a bit, actually. But I'm going to do him the favor of changing his name slightly in this post. Lets call him Joe Blah-blah. So, Professor Blah-blah. Thankfully, I've never attended any of his classes. He makes himself known, though, and it's hard not to know of this man if you're a Mass Comm major at the University of Utah. In every single class I've had in the department, Professor Blah-blah has either made an appearance or been the topic of discussion on several occasions. For good reason, too. The guy is an ass, and I've told him so to his face.

Why all the hate? For me, it's personal. Long story short, he made me leave a computer lab during a pretty heavy snow storm, when I was 9 months pregnant. There were several empty seats, and he wasn't lecturing at the time, and all I had to do was print off ONE piece of paper to hand in to another professor (whose office was right down the hall). But because "This is not an open lab, young lady," I had to leave the building and find another computer lab, then trudge back through the snow to turn in my paper. Barefoot. 10 miles, yada yada. ;-)

Two semesters later, when he walked into the very same lab during one of my classes, I gave him one of my best glares and said, "This is not an open lab, sir." Of course he didn't remember me. He's a jerk on a daily basis, to many people. But I felt compelled to confront him about our little encounter, now that I was preggo-free and a little more emotionally stable. All the explanation I could get out of him was that he "has no sympathy for pregnant people." Awesome. Here's where I inserted my "ass" comment. I do have sympathy for the poor woman who was pregnant with him.

I'm not proud of my extreme dislike for Professor Blah-blah. After all, compared to the majority of the world's citizens, I live in a cocoon of wealth and safety. This man didn't physically harm me or anyone I love. He didn't cut off my town's water supply, inhibit my ability to find employment and provide for my family, or even infringe upon any of my legal rights. This is simply a petty, personal vendetta against a man who inconvenienced me once, while I was in a fragile state.

That being said, the following instance made my day. My mass media law professor began class yesterday by saying, "If there is ONE thing that you remember from this course-- If there is only ONE thing that you take away from the material I'm offering you-- let it be this." He then proceeded to write, in extremely large letters, across the entire whiteboard,

Blah-blah

is

EVIL

I applauded. In fact, I gave a teary-eyed standing ovation. Because I think I'm guaranteed a full-blown A++ in this course.

What can I say?

It's been a while. Hmmm....

Tomorrow marks the first day of my last semester. In just a few months, I will finally be a college graduate. ;-)

We bought a blender from Costco and I can make an amazing mocha shake. (mocha mix, banana, soy milk, almond butter and ice.)

Lincoln loves standing on his legs and walking around while I hold his hands. He sways back and forth, doing some kind of adorable dance.

I have really puffy eyes. I've battled dark eye circles for a while, but now my eyelids are swollen. The skin is red and scaly. Bad allergies? A symptom of the nasty cold Lincoln and I have? I don't know, but it's not very pretty. I look ten years older than I really am!

I like etsy.com.

My friend Traci makes delicious treats. Which I can't help but gobble up in two days, tops, no matter how much she gives me. Yum.

On a related and yet unrelated note, I love working out with Tyler. And then boasting about how sore we are the next day. ;-)

Lincoln has decided that he can't fall asleep unless something is covering his face. I put him down in the crib awake with a blanket and a couple stuffed animals (SIDS days are over) and when I check on him, all I can see are hands and feet spread wide beneath a blanket or teddy bear. If I weren't so worried about his breathing, I'd leave it there because it obviously comforts him.

I love this life.

Yellowstone (warning: lots of pictures!)

This past week Tyler, Lincoln and I stayed with my brother and mom in a cabin near Yellowstone. We walked the boardwalk around vivid pools and gushing geysers, spotted an eagle, elk and buffalo, and ate a lot of chocolate. Lincoln took his first boat ride and hiked (with the help of Grandma and Baby Bjorn!) to his first waterfall. There was a lot of driving, and my baby handled it all impressively. It was fun to hang out with the family! Take a look:

Cabin on Lake Hebgen:

Phase 10.

These chocolates were both full at the beginning of the trip. :-)

A mad game of tether-ball.

The beach and dock. What a gorgeous day!

Our awesome stroller, pulling its weight.

See? We're nice sometimes!

Silly Grandma. Didn't get in the water once!

And here's who baby gets his thunder thighs from. ;-)

Turtle legs!

My boys.

The mosquitoes ate us alive. Especially poor Evan.

"Hey Dad! That's MY hat!"

My mom, just chillin'.

It was a fishing boat that went nice and slow. (Which I appreciated. Not one for speed!)

At first, Lincoln wasn't so sure about the boat ride. But he warmed up to it.

Yellowstone outings:

I think the canyon is one of the prettiest areas of the park.

Hiking to the Lower Falls Lookout.

My little family on Artist's Point.

Me, my mom and brother Evan by the river.

Here's the happy crew!

We both drank a cup of coffee that morning...

The bacteria creates some gorgeous coloring!

Me and Ev.

Looks like a fake backdrop, but it's the real deal!

So inviting... I'd jump in if the water wasn't boiling hot.

my little trooper

He's getting pretty heavy for this thing...

underwater geyser

I love the turquoise pools!

And the green ones.

Over and under eager.

Checking out the lilly pads!

Thanks to my wonderful mother for making this trip happen! She cooked homemade meals everyday and helped us take care of the baby. Lincoln loved Yellowstone so much, he's been a crankpot ever since we came back home! So, I'm sure we'll be returning someday.